My Nuts are Killing Me
Paul Maurice: Unnnnnnnnnnhhhh. God that’s annoying. Feels like Pat Verbeek is tugging on my spermatic cord. Just go away, stop. Did I leave my aftershave at the hotel? I can’t face the media without my...
View ArticleEight Helpings of Diaretics
Paul Maurice: Oh fuck, my stomach hurts. Ohhhh, it feels like tectonic plates are shifting in my tummy. What did I eat last night? Cold pea soup? Right, that Progresso shit. Uses only the finest...
View ArticleFalse Hope
Paul Maurice: My stomach doesn’t feel as bad as it once did. Weeks of cottage cheese, strained peas, and electrolytes have appeased my poor digestive tract. There’s still a lingering sensation of...
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